train broken, look for finger

Portland, supposed Mecca of green living and universal mass transit (unless you start looking at surrounding communities, the rug under which Portland sweeps its dirt, but never mind about that), has shut down Light Rail into downtown for pretty much the entire month of August. Now, I understand that they're doing something invisible, yet incredibly important on one of the bridges, and I certainly understand that Tri-Met, the local transit organization, faces the same woeful budgetary restrictions that all local transit organizations constantly wail and gnash their teeth about. What I don't understand is how Tri-Met, along with really the rest of Portland, can be so damn obliviously hostile to pedestrians.

To me, there's a hierarchy in people on the move, with pedestrians, who are getting from place to place emitting only flatulence and having the potential to kill or maim pretty much nobody on that trip, at the Tip Top. Next, bicyclists, who have sacrificed some personal safety, convenience and environmental impact in exchange for speed. Next, mass transit, which generally relies on volumetric measurements to come out ahead on safety and environmental impact, and is scarcely faster that biking or walking, but at least you don't have to break a sweat. At the low end of the scale, of course, would be anyone in or on a motorized vehicle. They essentially don't care about the impact of their transportation (relative to the other options) in terms of environment, cost, or safety, so long as they don't have to come within a foot of another human being on their way in to work.

With all that in mind (and providing the caveat that this hierarchy changes considerably in a city without robust public transportation, biking, and walking infrastructure), I can not for the life of me understand why this project with the train is not designed to encourage people to walk across the river. In fact, aside from having shuttle buses take people from train-to-train, I don't think the project was designed at all. They just did what they did, and figured fuck 'em if they're getting off the train and going across some other way. They've closed sidewalks without reason. They've routed paths through intersections with walk signals that take as long as it takes me to walk half of the distance from my office to the train. They neglected to mark the walkway across the river appropriately for a multi-use path, resulting in dangerous conditions from a-hole bicyclists speeding past pedestrians.

My question is, why? Why, in a country with an obesity problem, are we making it easier to take a shuttle than to walk? If someone can walk, why not reward them for doing so by thinking about the incredibly low-cost measures that could be taken to make it pleasant and easy? Move the barrier around the construction equipment five feet back so the sidewalk can stay open, for example. There isn't even anything taking up those five feet behind the barrier. Instead they "invested" in an employee to stand at the crosswalk telling people not to go that way. Or maybe time the trains according to when there's a dropoff at the start of the walking route, then add a reasonable trip time before departure. I'm the fastest walker on the bridge, and there's always a train leaving about 3 minutes before I can get to the stop. It's probably full of people who have been waiting since they got there after the last train, 15 minutes earler. My solution has been to keep walking, which is great in terms of fitness, but still irks me in terms of being treated as a third-class transit customer.

Screw all that. I'd walk all the way home if it wasn't 12 miles one way.

red bug

I never heard from the dude wanting to buy my bug yesterday (of course), but I did go out and tinker with the car a bit. I actually got the thing running, and I took it for a short drive across the street and through the parking lot (no insurance, no seatbelt, weak brakes, no brains, but decent luck). I had to unfreeze the brake drum of the wheel whose hubcap was smashed by the semi, but once I did, I was rollin. There's a lot of rear suspension groaning and grunting from letting the car sit for so long, and I had a horrible time getting it to go back up in the driveway, but the thing moved under its own power for the first time in 9 months or more. If the brakes were functional, a buyer could drive the thing home. Now I have to decide if it's worth my time to lay under the car bleeding the brakes to get them ready for test drives, or whether I should just talk the guy into towing it home. If the guy is still interested, that is. I'll give him a call tonight. I wonder if he's just sweating me to try and get the price down.

cars

The last two weekends in a row, I've had dudes crawling out of the woodwork on Sunday trying to buy VW-related items. Weekend before last, I was sitting in my house, minding my own business, wasting some time on the Gamecube, when there comes a knock on the door. I am not a fan of the unexpected visitor. Selling something? Just stopping by? Not a fan.

In this case, the guy wanted to buy the roof rack off my VW Bug. The conversation went something like this:

Him: Hi, is that your red bug in the driveway there?
Me: uh, yeah.
Him: Would you be interested in selling me your roof rack?
Me: uh, I don't know, maybe?
Him: Well, how much do you want for it?
Me: jeez, I don't know, I wasn't really thinking about selling it. I have no idea.
Him: come on, just say a price.
Me: you know, i just couldn't say. I'm not really wanting to sell it particularly, why don't you tell me how much you'd like to pay for it.
Him: Well, I have a bug I'm restoring at home, and I just want to take this home and put it on there.
Me: OK, so how much was that?
Him: oh, uh, $40?
Me: No, not for $40. Why don't you just buy a new one, they cost about $150, and they're brand new.
Him: what? well how much, then?
Me: I don't know, it's like, part of the car for me. You want to buy the whole car?
Him: no.
Me: hmm. too bad.
Him: well what's it worth to you?
Me: to me? it's worth $100, because that's how much the value of the vehicle goes up just having a rack as a throw-in when I sell it.
Him: $100? for that? look at the wood, I'd have to totally redo the wood!
Me: look, I'm not trying to sell it, I'm trying not to sell it. Go buy a new one. for that matter, go online and buy a used one for $75.
Him: I don;t want to go online. I want this one right here, right now.
Me: look, I'll make it easy on you. It's not for sale, OK?
Him, stomping his foot: What? I'll give you $75 then. Meet me halfway!
Me: no, it's not for sale, sorry I wasted your time.
Him: you're trying to get $100, aren't you?
Me: no, it's not about that, sorry, it's just not going to happen, OK?
Him, stomping his foot again: What? What?
Me: see ya, dude.
So I went back inside, thinking about how maybe he'd just show up after dark and steal it. We had somewhere to go, so I got everybody ready, and as I was walking out of the house, the dude pulls up again. He whips out $100.
Me: Fine. Let me help you load it up. I don't know why you want to pay me $100 for something that's not worth $100, but it's your money.
Him: obviously thrilled: Well, I get to take it home and put it on my car, right here right now.
Me: OK, man.

And that's how I sold my rack for $100. I would have taken $75, but I was too lazy to pull the rack off the car for that much. I told my kids that this shows how laziness pays off.

Next weekend, a couple of guys pull up in a completely beautiful old Bus, and ask about the car itself(!). I showed them around, pointed out the damage, and told them about my wife's car back in the carport. They took a look, and, although they weren't willing to break the bank, each of them was interested in one of the cars. The price they offered me for the red bug I snapped up instantly, but the other one I had to think about. I think I'll take it, though. It would be great to have both of those cars gone, and even better to know that someone will be working on them to fix them up. I hope it works out. The first guy is supposed to call me today to see about getting the red bug.

so...the brewing.

I brewed. Still no word on how successful it might have been. It did not go as planned. I was assisted by someone that I should have known better than to invite. I allowed him to make stupid mistakes and then failed to adequately control the resulting problems. All my bad, I'm sure. All not his fault, just the way it is. shake head, swallow rage. continue on.

Long story short: too much water means not all the wort would fit in the carboy. This was most upsetting. On my own, I would have just worked it out, but with a guest glued to my ass, I just said screw it and figured I'd let the chips fall where they may. Specific gravity ended up no higher than 1040, maybe a hair or two lower. I pitched the yeast at too high a temperature so that I could just finish up and have a moment's peace. Fermentation had not started by the time I left for work today, 16 hours after pitching the yeast. gah.

The recipe (ill-fated though it may be):
about 5 lbs light malt syrup
1/4 lb crystal malt (40l)
1 oz or so Chinook hops, the last of the hops from my plant last year (15 minutes)
1/4 oz or so Fuggles hops (15 minutes)
1/4 tsp Irish Moss (15 minutes)
1 oz pelletized Cascade hops (5 minutes)
~2 lbs raw honey (added after the wort was taken off the heat, while someone else was adding too much water to the carboy)
San Francisco Lager Yeast (liquid, pitched at about 87 degrees)

This is supposed to be a Cream Ale. The wort has a nice honey flavor. If it ferments, it might be good to drink. If I'm not getting any action by tomorrow, I might have to re-pitch.

crazy/stupid

Somehow it seemed like a good idea to have people over two days in a row on a weekend when I planned to brew beer. Day 1 went OK, I survived anyway, but day 2 looms, and it's the one with the brewing.
Day 1 highlights:

• Kal Bi (turned out awesome, described by my father-in-law as 'Hawaiian style,' which I took as a compliment).
  
• Raspberry Rhubarb topping for ice cream (on the fly, with vanilla paste and bourbon, probably the best thing I made).
• Sashimi (hard to cut right, but damn, it tasted good).
• Laulau made with pork jowl bacon (my idea) and real luau leaf, steamed in banana leaves.

The plan for tomorrow is for BBQ pork sandwiches and some unspecified dessert (perhaps nutmeg cake). I don't know when I'm going to have a chance to cook the pork (to say nothing of the cake), but I'll just have to make it happen on the fly.

Enough parentheses for today?

Projects

I will be listing posts detailing some of the many projects I have in progess or waiting in the wings. There are a lot of them. I am a homeowner stupidly devoted to doing everything myself. Here are the ones I can think of right now:

• Sell 2 1966 VW Bugs in various stages of disrepair
• Build a new gate out of the bamboo I've had sitting in the carport for well over a year now
• Grout the tile in the mudroom
• Clean up after demolition of the 3-sided shed that was behind the carport
• Install the high-end oven currently sitting in the back room
• Repave the driveway
• Replace horrible carpet in the backroom with something better, preferably bamboo
• Buy and install a cooktop to accompany the high-end oven
• Replace horrible counters with something that looks and works better
• Replace horrible kitchen cabinets with something that looks and works better
• Replace every fixture in the bathroom with something that looks and works better
• Completely tear down and redo bathroom floors, walls, and tub
• Clean & treat the deck
• Replace the outdoor faucet in back
• Install a drip watering system in the back yard
• Readjust the drip system installed in the front yard to make sure everything gets watered
• Bottle current batch of beer
• Buy a new PC (the old brown Dell just ain't what she used to be)
• Build one or more new raised garden beds
• Improve the compost setup
• Pull weeds front and back
• Cull small or diseased plums
• Prepare jars and storage area for jam projects
• Throw away everything possible from under the carport
• Install lights on deck awning
• Get a new hammock
• Clean out cars
• Put pruned forsythia branches into yard waste
• Design and install a shelf for plants in the back room

I'm sure there are more things. I simply can't bear to add anything more to the list. Some of those are fun. Some of those are an impending nightmare. I don't have time to do any of it, what with work, driving my kids around to and from school and other activities, watering, cleaning up after 2 adults and 2 (freaking messy) kids, listening to backtalk, and trying to stay sane by doing things that I enjoy, such as playing the guitar and ukulele, playing soccer, drinking beer, cooking, etc.

All the things on this list are things that I have at least a general idea how to do. They're all productive things with higher practical value to me and my family than riding the train in to the city and hanging out in an office building, but the job has a much higher monetary value, so I do that instead. Why? Because in order to be able to pay for materials and other costs associated with all those activities, I have to trade away the time I would need to do them. Does this make sense? In some cases, the project wouldn't even have been necessary if I had had adequate time to take the steps necessary to prevent the problem from occurring in the first place.

This whole thing is strictly for suckers, but nearly everyone does it, or something even more onerous. To me this way of life is the very essence of stupidity. I didn't design it, and I don't know how to fix it, but I still have to live with it. My only hope is to be able to exploit enough money out of the whole scheme to be able to escape from most of it by finding a situation where a higher percentage of the work I do contributes directly to my benefit. I have to own it.