back then

I thought briefly today about going back and seeing what the first entry on this blog was like, but I don't really want to. My life is completely different now than it was then, while my circumstances have changed very little. The difference, of course, is me. I've made changes that caused the world to suck less while remaining exactly the same. How weird is that?

The results, at this point in time:

I've lost 45 pounds since Feb. 4, 2008.
I exercise every day.
I'm taking happy pills (more like not depressed pills, but that doesn't sound as good).
I started making changes in the way I treat people at work, so that I actually have conversations with people. I tell them things, they say things back. I don't know why it would have been so mysterious to me before how NOT doing this would cause me to feel isolated and unappreciated. What was there to appreciate back in January?

This is, of course, not the first time that I have grown to feel revulsion for how I was once upon a time. How long, I wonder, before the me I am today becomes a subject of my loathing and repudiation? At least I've put some delay into the process so that it's not right freaking now every instant.

soccer results

0-6, our loss. It was an all-out asswhoopin. I can't imagine a more humiliating defeat to have suffered, especially as this was the last game of the session.

It appears that I will be uninvited from yet another soccer team. I believe that this will be the last one, as I am about to just say fuck it and move on to some other activity. I like to play soccer, but I hate dealing with all the politics or whatever the issue could be. When you ask directly whether or not a team needs you for the next session and you get an evasive answer, perhaps that's an indication that it's time to find a different activity or undertake some massive personality renovation or both.

I think I'll start biking.

note to self:

you brew alone. it is not a good idea to invite anyone over to observe, assist, facilitate, ask questions about, or otherwise participate in the brewing process. your response to any requests for an invitation to participate in brewing should consist of the words 'get,' and 'bent,' in no particular order.