back then

I thought briefly today about going back and seeing what the first entry on this blog was like, but I don't really want to. My life is completely different now than it was then, while my circumstances have changed very little. The difference, of course, is me. I've made changes that caused the world to suck less while remaining exactly the same. How weird is that?

The results, at this point in time:

I've lost 45 pounds since Feb. 4, 2008.
I exercise every day.
I'm taking happy pills (more like not depressed pills, but that doesn't sound as good).
I started making changes in the way I treat people at work, so that I actually have conversations with people. I tell them things, they say things back. I don't know why it would have been so mysterious to me before how NOT doing this would cause me to feel isolated and unappreciated. What was there to appreciate back in January?

This is, of course, not the first time that I have grown to feel revulsion for how I was once upon a time. How long, I wonder, before the me I am today becomes a subject of my loathing and repudiation? At least I've put some delay into the process so that it's not right freaking now every instant.