sad, happy

I'm very sad today because my brother is leaving again for Thailand. Although I'm bummed that he's not around, his visit made me feel better about several things. I feel better about a lot of the decisions I've made in my life that have led me to do what I do, live where I live, and work where I work. I'm not always entirely happy about any of those things, but really, they're OK for now. Maybe some things could change, and maybe at some point I will be doing something I love for a job, and living someplace I feel connected to. I would like for what I do, where I live, and where I work to all be about the same thing. I would like for my life to be more focus and less distraction, essentially.

But for now, my life is functional. I have a few activities that I really enjoy, and people I enjoy doing those activities with. The rest is just a distraction.

The fact that a short visit from my brother, during which we didn't even see each other every day, can have such an effect on how I view my life, has highlighted for me how pivotal some relationships can be in a person's life. For me, those relationships are about family. I don't think I'm very good at expressing this sort of thing to the people that matter to me.